and i just want to breathe,
but my body is stiff and i'm sinking.
i'm not aware if this is true
and i'm falling through the clouds
or that i'm deadweight sinking into the ocean,
but this is a familiar feeling.
i dont remember the name of this,
but the description is clear.
everything is still and silent,
and i'm the only item in motion.
the only thing i see is her
and she's standing right in front of me,
with her arms extended and a phrase on her face.
"i'm sorry, lovely, but you cant catch me this time.
i'm not trying to run."
all i can ask of you is that you hold my hands and look into my eyes.
kiss me on these lips of mine.
this isnt the perfect film or a romance story,
there is no honest hope here.
there's a fire burning in my heart,
but water is taking the capacity of my lungs.
i cant even gasp or try to call your name,
i am full of fear at this moment.
i'm not afraid to die, but i'm afraid of the thought of never seeing you again.
never holding you again,
never seeing you smile again.
and i just realized that i have no one in my life to dedicate this to.
all i have is to say my last prayer and to ask for final forgiveness.

please God, i'm deeply begging you with all of my heart and soul,
forgive me for everything i've done in my life that would keep me from
getting into heaven.

even though i had nothing in this life,
i thank you for giving me this chance.

please forgive me.